Dating, Love, and the Opposite Sex

How can I get over a crush?

Time, date someone else, or you may learn to live with crushing on someone.  Sounds so cliché but all things change in time.  It’s inevitable.  Things can change for the better or worse depending on your actions.  If you are interested in getting to know someone become their friend and see what happens.  Or, you can date someone else to take your mind off that other person if that individual is not interested in you. Do not get someone else that you really like, don’t use anyone for a temporary distraction.  If you just can’t get over the crush learn to live with it positively, don’t be self-destructive or hurt anyone. Keep it moving. 

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 Am I ready to date?

Ask yourself these questions:
1.  Are you single?
2.  Can you tell an individual no without falling under pressure during a date?

3.  Do you feel ready to date?

If you answered yes, then you’re probably good to go.  You must evaluate yourself to determine if you are ready to let someone into your personal space. If you are underage get your parents permission!

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Am I ready for marriage?

Marriage is a serious commitment. You should not want to get married to appease your family, friends, or society.  Nor should you get married because you are ready to have sex.   Whoever you marry should share the same focus, values, morals, and goal attainment as yourself.  Marriage does not make a situation better it is a form of commitment for better or worse.  Are you ready for that?

You can’t ask someone who has never been married what marriage is like. Talk to a married couple that has been together. Surely there will be ups and downs.

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How do I know if it is real love?

Love has different meanings for different people.  People love in different ways and show their love in different ways.  So the question shouldn’t be is this real love the question should be is this the type of love that I want and willing to deal with?

According to Oxford Dictionary love is considered an intense feeling of deep affection.  So in actuality what does that mean to you? Only you can answer that.  You will hear people say oh if they loved you they wouldn’t do this or that.  Not true.  Simply could be they don't love you how you should or want to be loved.  Keep in mind people have faults and sometimes have trouble expressing their love.  Should you make an excuse for them?  No.  Always stay true about a situation.

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How can I make it work?

You have to want it to work and be willing to make the necessary adjustments and changes.  Next, ask you mate?  They should be able to tell you what traits you need to work on.  You must keep an open mind.  If verbal communication is not effective at the time communicate through text or letters on how to make things better.  If someone is hurt of a past action you must be understandable and allow them to grieve.  However, grieving does not give someone the right to constantly bring up past actions.  If you are willing to work on it, discuss it open and honestly, and move on.  Yes, you may have a flashback but we all learn to live with things.  Make the best out the situation. If it is something you cannot get past move on.  You have to put forth the effort if you want to make it work.  Don’t ask your neighbor, ask your mate.  Keep people out your business.

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Should I stay in an abusive relationship?

No.  Easier said than done.  You can hope that it will get better but, if it keeps getting worse you have to get out of the situation.  Only you know when you had enough.  Talk to other individuals who experienced the same abuse and ask them how they got out of the situation.

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Signs of a cheater?

Pay attention to their routine
Sudden change in routine
Lies that don’t make sense
Lies about where they are
Offer whack excuses
You suddenly got a STD (don’t let them make you think its you)
Late night phone calls he chooses not to answer but answers the other calls
Intuition not insecurity
Blames you
Projection (accusing you of cheating)

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So what do you plan on doing if you find out that your mate is cheating

Will you really leave them?
Continue the cycle?
Get revenge?
Begin to cheat?

Have candor communication about the issue?
Forgive them and move on?
Or, just move on?

Once a cheater always a cheater… Maybe or maybe not! Hmm  We all have our limitations.  What are you willing deal with?

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